I Just Have this One, Nagging Question... Can You Answer It for Me?

One day I just wondered
What started it all?
The very first tree, in the very first world, in the very first universe…
When?
How?

I thought of people, and how they originated
Why did it happen?
Was one cell just magically made, out of nothing, somewhere, somehow, unknown…
When?
How?

I’m not religious, so I don’t take the easy answer of “God created life”
I seriously wonder: how did I get here?
Maybe it was all just an accident; not supposed to happen; not because of any reason whatsoever…
When?
How?

“There must be an explanation for everything,” says my school teacher
But there isn’t, is there?
You can’t explain why the rain falls or how everything started… You can’t explain how everything will end
Why not?
I want to know.

I just want to understand…
Who can I ask?

Like this crazy, inflowing, messy poem,
life confuses me.







P.S., I finally figured out how to enable comments on "A Summer Story" !! :) Feel free to comment, now :]

Lists

It's Sunday :)
But you knew that.
Today, I'm in the mood to make lists.
Bunches of lists.
Lists of lists.
So here I go :)
Don't try and stop me.

LIST OF LISTS
1. List of things I love.
-My family
-My friends
-My pets
-The colour pink
-Shopping
-Singing
-Reading
-WRITING!!!
-Smiling
-Laughing
-Sunny days
-Swimming
-Volleyball
-Happiness
-Adventures
-Risks
-Fun

2. List of things I hate.
-Large spiders that scuttle in front of you and make you scream
-People who get mad over nothing, and freak out, to get attention
-Injustice
-When people stop loving each other
-Mean people
-When wet, muddy dogs rub against your legs
-The fact that all good things eventually come to an end
-Things being shoved in my face
-Mosquito bites

3. List of things that are extremely cute.
-Little kids
-Kittens and puppies
-Baby pumpkins
-Pom-poms
-Travel-sized everything
-Young love
-Old love
-Any love
-Saying unexpected nice things
-Mini oranges
-Baby animals

4. List of things I want to do before I'm thirty.
-Conquer fears
-Cliff-jump
-Go on vacation with a friend
-Travel to Greece
-Splash in a huge mud puddle with large rain boots
-Publish a book
-Take a cat for a walk outside
-Draw something that doesn't suck
-Sit on a roof and play guitar
-Complete a whole CD with my band, of our songs
-Slap someone I'm mad at
-On the last day of grade 12, do the ultimate prank
-Ride in a limo

5. Last list! List of my summer goals.
-Write another book
-Do something new, that I wouldn't normally do
-Run along a beach as fast as I possibly can, and not stop until it's impossible to run any more
-Inspire someone
-Help someone who needs me
-Go on vacation
-Have the time of my life

:)
The end.

Things That Occured

Well, my week so far went good, I'd say.
Pretty good.
Pros:
-It's summer = no work!
-I hung out with my friends and family a lot this week.
-It's been so sunny and nice out.
-It was just a generally awesome week :)

Cons:
-I have bronchitis.
-My mom's in China!
-My friend Claire is leaving soon, so I always feel like this might be the last time I see her.
-IT'S TOO HOT OUT... *pant, pant.*

I discovered this thing (okay, my friend showed it to me) called CleverBot.
It's hilarious to make conversation with it xP

I watched a Bachelorette Spoiler... Oooh, gunna be a very delicious episode Monday!!! Huge confrontation is going to happen :D

I've been searching for this certain picture that I saw on Talia's blog, http://girlzlurv2write.blogspot.com/ , and it's like this list of numbers and each one says to look at another number, for example.
1. look at number two!
2. look at number eight!
etc. AND I CAN NOT FIND IT ANYWHERE ON WEHEARTIT!! Ugh.
I want it because at the end it says something really nice and I want to send it to my mom who's in China :) <3
Talia, if you read this, could you please send me the link to it or something, or tell me which page of Weheartit it's on? If it's even on Weheartit... I don't know. Just making assumptions.
Pretty please and thank you! :)

I made iced coffee this morning.

I woke up at six twenty-ish this morning due to a ton of sun coming through my window, which was a really nice way to wake up.

This week, I hung out with my lovely friend Kieran, who has a blog which you can see from this link: http://aqualeau.blogspot.com/
It's hilarious and really fun! :)

I also hung out with Claire, Oksana, Justine, Alexis, Cherry, and Selina. :) It was fun!
They either don't have a blog or never post on their blogs.

My niece and nephew both did some really adorable things this week.
Niece = Jenna. 2 years old.
Nephew = Cole. 3 years old.

Cute Thing that Cole Did:
Cole, my half-sister (his mom), and I were walking to the park, but it had been torn down by a "mean, bad" bulldozer so we were walking back. There was this red sign in front of an outside restaurant that said "No Hard Alcohol Beyond This Point!". Cole asked what it said. We told him.
He asked why.
We tried to explain.
Then he wondered,
"...Can I have some hard alcohol?" in this adorably cute voice :) I was laughing a lot, and in my head going AWW!
We told him no, he could not have some hard alcohol.

Cute Thing that Jenna Did:
Jenna and Cole were really bonding this one day. They were causing a ton of mischief by tipping over small chairs and laughing really hard, refusing to eat their dinner, running all around in circles gleefully, and such.
So they went upstairs in Jenna's room to play, and they wanted to jump on her little crib. So they started jumping and giggling while I supervised that they didn't hurt themselves, and then eventually they got worn out, of course.
They wanted to pretend to go to sleep, so after a bit of arguing over which blankets they had, they settled down. Just pretending, though, that it was bed time.
Cole said, "Good night!" and then pretended to sleep.
Jenna sighed. "It's been a long day," she said.
She pretended to sleep too.
I found that extremely adorable, as if she was an adult hard at work the whole day, finally getting a rest! Again, I thought AWW!
She probably picked it up from some adults.

They're both so cute :)


So my week was fairly good, besides the bronchitis.
Hope everyone else's week was amazing!!!
-Kayla.

Old Stuff

Hey girls! :)
Today I decided I would leaf through a few of my old, old, old Microsoft Word documents, and post some things that I think are funny/nostalgic/amazing. So here we go.
*Searching…*
Okay. I found a bunch of old poems and tiny stories from a couple years ago, back in 2008. It was when my Grade 6 teacher (I think?) enrolled me in this “Gifted Young Writers” workshop—ugh, I just hate when people say the word “Gifted”… it’s so cliché and completely exaggerating… Come on, we’re kids, you can not tell how “Gifted” or “Un-Gifted” we are. Anyway, they told us to post all these poems on Wikipedia or something, and short stories, so here are some of my poems:
I found this one that was really sad, about a little baby cat.
Here it is:

-Forever and ever-

I looked down at the new born cat
Hairless, eyes shut, lying on the mat
A part of me said "That's really gross!"
But another part said "I love her the most."

This cat was small, and meek, and cute
She was different, and shy, and right now, mute
She could not meow, or move around
It seemed like she was glued to the ground

However, in spite of those things
I loved her still and thats what it means
To love at first sight no matter how tall
Or skinny or fat or big or small

She was the best thing that happened that day
She was different and special in her own way
I looked after her, cared for her, fed her still
I loved her now and always will

This cat has shown something to me
Just 'cause you're different, can't hear, or can't see
It doesn't mean that you can not live
Or care, or share, or love, or give.

(Pardon the typos… I was young and didn’t really edit my work then.)



I really like the last two lines. Pretty deep, for an eleven year old, eh?
Here’s another one:

-Spring-

Spring is when the flowers bloom
When it's sunny, from morning to noon
Pick an apple and a pear
Sniff the flowers, breath fresh air

Spring is happy, spring is glee
Spring is blooming flowers and trees
Warm and sunny, but sometimes cold
Spring is like a pot of gold

Shiny, shimmery, sparkly and great
Some gentle pink flowers in a vase
Spring, spring, the time to love
The time to care, and look above

See the sky, so blue and fresh
Remember what it's like to rest
Just relax and have a good day
Come on, its spring, here to stay.



Here’s one last one… A haiku.

-Summer-
The warm summer breeze
Blows the leaves on the trees and
Whistles through my hair

Children laugh and play
The have lots of fun all day
In the beach's hot sand

Swimming in the pool
Waiters serving you cold drinks
It's so refreshing



Well, thanks for listening!
This was really fun doing, because as I searched through all my old documents they brought back such clear memories…

Well, I hope you all have a very good day today. As for me, I’m sick with a harsh cough and runny nose, and I have a group of friends coming over this morning at ten o’clock. Hopefully I’ll manage!
Xoxo,
-Kaleda.

Sunday Photos

Today, I have some photos to share with you all.
Here they are…



Why can’t we get up right now, get a big bunch of balloons, and walk wherever we want to and do whatever we want to do? Why are we so confined—glued to our computers and T.Vs like robots. Why can’t we leave, what is that force attaching us… keeping us reading, staring…? Why can’t we be free? What is that, sucking me in…?


Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person in the whole world. The feeling only lasts a short while, so there’s no time to miss others. I just feel empowered, like I’m amazing, and perfect in every way… Again, it only lasts a short while. Then I realize the truth, that nobody’s perfect, that maybe I won’t make a change in the world, and maybe I’m just a little girl with a big heart and a very confused mind, who really doesn’t matter.




You know, even though sometimes I feel that way, I know deep inside that I’m wrong. My emotions get twisted and confused, but the truth is, I do matter. You do, too. Everyone does. This little boy running with bread probably has a story to tell, magic he experienced, and love he has that will never die. Everyone’s capable of doing great things, no matter who you are. Everyone matters. Just stop being lazy and go prove it. Stop thinking you’re useless. Stop. You’re not.



Clouds are gorgeous things, aren’t they? So peaceful, floating mindlessly, wherever the wind guides them. Sometimes I feel like a cloud. Powerless, but happy nonetheless. Other times I feel like the wind. Invisible, but with great power. I’m just one of millions, right? Invisible. But I know I can change the world, and I will change the world someday.



I wonder, if you sailed as far as you could, cautiously avoided the waterfalls and whirlpools but took whatever turns you wanted to take… where you’d end up? Is there some place we haven’t discovered yet? Some land with magic—animals that never die and plants that bloom the biggest flowers, you could use them as houses. Is there such a place? Maybe there is. Maybe it’s located in our mind, and nowhere else.

You might find ^ those confusing. I know—I just wrote what was on my mind. And my mind can be quite scattered. Sorry if I don’t make sense. I hope I do. I hope you can understand me…

-Kaleda.

P.S, HAPPY FATHERS DAY! Love you, Dad <3

It's Official

Yes, it is. As of yesterday at twelve-ish...
it's official.




IT'S SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D



God, I am SO excited. My favorite part is that I don't have to work :) Until September, that is. That's TWO WHOLE MONTHS OF DOING ABSOULTELY *NOTHING*.
What could be better?
Ahhhhhhhhh.
Summer.
I didn't wanna post about my past week, like I usually do, because it would go something like this:
Study, exam, study, exam, study, study, study, study, exam, exam, exam, exam, study, exam, study, study, study
EXAM.
:(
And it would depress me.
So instead I'll talk about the future.

Five things I look forward to in the very near future:
1. Renovating my blog again to make it summery. I swear, this will be the last change until September. PROMISE. I just want to make it really summer-themed so whenever I look at it it will cheer me up. I'll do that later. Au revoir, poulets.
2. Waiting till the sun comes out, and then going for a swim in my backyard pool.
3. Writing more of my story.
4. Having a sleepover with my friend Alexis tonight, at her house, and staying up late.
5. Being Happy. :)

I've acheived #5 so far :)

Five things I look forward to in the a-bit-distant future:
1. Getting my braces off in a few months.
2. My mom coming back from her business trip to China. (She left this morning from the Vancouver Airport and is staying 12 days.)
3. Getting my report card... I usually do well, and I get money for each A, and that means SHOPPING :)
4. Going on vacation. We'll probably go to Hawaii :)
5. Going to the beach with friends.

Two things I dislike:
1. My mom being in China.
2. My AMAZING friend Claire leaving for Korea this summer, and then in the coming-up school year going to BOARDING SCHOOL >:( I'm going to call Boarding School B.S.

One thing I love-love-love:
Summer.

Some Poems

-Just a few little thoughts and feelings I scrapped together-

First Poem.
“Filled up.”



I’m filled with hope,
I’m filled with glee,
I’m filled with sorrow,
And sympathy.

I’m filled with happiness,
I’m filled with logic,
I’m filled with gratefulness
And a tad neurotic.

I’m filled with love,
I’m filled with warmth,
I’m filled with opinions,
I’m filled with heart.

I’m filled with thoughts,
Of what could be,
I’m filled with dreams,
Yet still loyalty.

I’m filled with longing,
I’m filled with satisfaction,
I’m filled with honesty,
Different moods, different actions.

I’m filled with all these things,
Inside me,
And sometimes when things happen…
Big things,
Surprising things,
Terrifying things,
Saddening things,
Angering things,
Difficult things,
Confusing things…
Sometimes I feel
Like I’m going to
Overflow.

Second Poem.
“Circle.”



A
Circle.
Round, and
Perfectly shaped,
Never out of its order,
Never out of it’s place, but
Sometimes the circle will break and the raw, terrifying edges
Will appear so suddenly,
You don’t know what
To do with them,
Except learn
How to deal
With the
Unusual
Truth.
Nobody’s a perfect circle.


Third Poem.
“A Face in the Crowd.”



I’ll be talking; talking like normal,
About the
Weather.
It’ll start off
S
L
O
W
And proceed
S
L
O
W
But when I see you walk by,
Like you always do;
You always walk by;
Then my speech startsto slur togetherandIcan’t makeouttherightwords
AndIfumbleandstumbleandsoundlikealunitic
butit’sallworthitbecauseIfeelsohappyandenthusiasticwheneverIsee
Your face.


Fourth Poem.
“Rule the World.”



Have you ever wondered what would happen
If you could change the world?
If you could turn it inside out, fold it around,
Stretch it or bend it however you could?
You could make people adore you,
And hate who you hate,
And everything would be
In its
Exact
Perfect
Place.
No homework, or drama queens,
Or those awful,
Pesky,
Stinging bees
That you’re allergic to.
It will be fine, and perfect,
But what if perfect
Isn’t really
p
erfect
At all?!
What do you do then?
You could re-
Re-
Re-
start, but that might
Even be worse,
You could try,
and try,
and try,
AND TRY!!!!
But it’s no use, it’s already cursed…
What would you do if
YOU were in charge?
And you lost control…
Do you still want things perfectly,
Exactly,
Correctly,
Your
Way?
I don’t.


Last Poem.
“Superficiality.”



Superficiality.
Seven syllables,
Fourteen letters,
Scribbled in my navy blue pen
Illegibly.

Depth.
Noticing details, wondering what
They could mean.
Could they mean something?
Expanding your thoughts.
Reading between the lines.
Thinking,
But not just thinking.

Really thinking.

Do you really think?